How to speak to a pregnant woman

Many of the aspects I've touched on below have been covered before, but since my posts can be rather long and require a certain degree of time and effort to read, I've decided to make an easy "how to" guide. So when faced with situations like the ones described below, you'll be better equipped to respond in a manner which hopefully won't make a hormone-loaded woman want to choke the life out of you or slap you silly. 

Regarding sleep

Wrong: Enjoy your sleep while you can, you'll be missing it when baby arrives
Right: I hope you're sleeping well and getting enough rest

Regarding body shape (and change)

All in front
Wrong: Are you sure it's not twins?
Right: You're looking so good. That bump is gorgeous!

All in the back
Wrong: Is baby the reason for all that junk in your trunk?
Right: You're looking so good. I hope that baby is growing well.

All over
Wrong: Wow, you're really spreading everywhere!
Right: You're looking so good. A healthy mommy is a healthy baby.

Regarding food

Wrong: Are you sure you should be eating that? You don't want to put on too much weight!
Right: I hope you've had enough to eat.

Regarding baby names

A name which may sound a bit strange to you
Wrong: How can you give a child a name like that? 
Right: That's unusual, what does it mean?

A name which you don't care for
Wrong: Argh! I hate that name! I knew this person when I was...
Right: I hope that you're happy with your choice of name

Regarding birthing options

Don't justify your own choice as if a pregnant woman telling you hers is a judgement against your decision.
Wrong: Well I had [insert birth option here] and I was just fine! 
Right: Have you discussed your choices with your doctor to help you make the best decision for both you and your baby?

Don't make stupid and judgemental statements
Wrong: If you don't give natural birth then you're not a real mother/woman
Right: There are pros and cons to both natural and surgical births. Have you discussed your choices with your doctor to help you make the best decision for both you and your baby?

Don't use scare tactics and check your facts before you voice your opinion. 
Wrong: Natural birth? What if you tear? I've heard that it completely ruins your sex life!
Right: A woman's body was designed to give birth, I hope you are prepared for it. Have you discussed your choices with your doctor to help you make the best decision for your baby?

Regarding pain management during birth

Anti-drug
Wrong: I hope you're not going to drug your child just so that the process is easier for you! 
Right: Have you considered hypnobirth or using a doula to help you cope with the stress and pain of labour?

Pro-drug
Wrong: Oh you must definitely have [insert pain management here]. The pain is just unbearable! 
Right: The pain of labour can be very intense and you never really know what to expect. Have you discussed the available options with your doctor/midwife?

Regarding breast or bottle feeding

As for birthing options, don't justify your own choice as if a pregnant woman telling you hers is a judgement against your decision.
Wrong: I bottlefed my baby from the start and s/he is [insert age here] and has never needed antibiotics! 
Right: I chose to bottle feed for my own reasons. You need to do what is going to be best for you and your baby.

Pro breast feeding 
Wrong: How can you not breastfeed your child? You're depriving him/her! Don't you know that breast is best?
Right: The benefits of breastmilk are quite substantive, but not every mother can or wants to breastfeed. You need to do what is going to be best for you and your baby.

Regarding the challenges and changes of parenthood

Wrong: Just remember your life is never going to be the same. You're going to have to give up [insert one or many activities here].
Right: Having children will change your life forever. I hope that the positives will outweigh the negatives and you'll cherish your children.