A Description of the Common Client Types in Retail Pharmacy

When you’ve worked in enough retail settings, you’ll come to know a variety of different client “types”. Unfortunately sometimes a single person has polypharmpersonality disorder and may exhibit several client types all at once, affect a different type with each visit or may be subject to rapid cycling during the course of your single interaction. So here’s a list of client types that I have tried to categorise for your amusement.

The Weekend Whopper

This is the term that I use to describe those clients that come in with a whopper of a “shopping list” for you to sort out over a weekend. And the clincher is that these are usually the people that actually have free time available during normal weekday hours to come and collect their items, but they choose to, instead, wait until a weekend to hold up a whole queue of acutely ill people. And should you be unfortunate enough to have run out of stock of any of their chronic medication, you will most likely be scolded for your poor stock-keeping efficiency because you “know that it’s needed every month”. Trying to explain the complications associated with prescription refills over weekends is usually wasted breath and to dare suggest that the client should come in during the week or phone in advance is as risky as walking around into shark-infested waters with actively bleeding wounds.  

The “Ooh! Ah! Just a little bit!” Pain in your Butt

For those clients that come in every few days wanting just a small supply of their medication as opposed to getting it all once a month. Or the ones that always want less than what is available in the patient-ready over-the-counter pack. As if a supermarket is going to allow you to open up packs of nine toilet rolls so that you can buy five…

The Pharmacy Hopper

Their prescription must always be returned to them, they show absolutely no pharmacy loyalty, but will protest and whine like a hungry baby with an overflowing nappy if you don’t have their medication in stock when they choose to give you their patronage. And they’ll compare you to “that other” pharmacist…

The Last Minute Wonder

They always wait until after they’ve taken the last of their medication supply before they arrive to collect their refill. Sometimes they also only arrive to collect their refill just before closing time or over the weekend. This variety of client also exhibits mass intolerance if their required medication being out of stock.  

The Medical Aid Daydreamer

This term describes clients that, even though they pay handsome amounts in medical aid premiums every month, have absolutely no understanding regarding how their medical aid plan actually works. Asking them about which plan they’re on or if the day-to-day benefits are a general pool or specified per dependent is pointless. They expect you to know what benefits they’re entitled to, advise them how to go about getting their medication authorised for chronic benefits (or just expect you to do it for them) and to spend hours on the phone with their medical aid sorting out their problems.

The Hippy Dippy

They “believe” in aromatherapy and homeopathy and, and, and... They will usually ask if you have a “natural” alternative for whatever you’d like to recommend for them. They often express a distrust for conventional medication and may even go so far as to tell you about all the weird and wonderful side effects that they’ve experienced from almost every pharmaceutical they’ve ever taken.

The Doctor Avoider

This variety of client has normally exhausted their over-the-counter options for the current malady or has a very serious presentation which you feel requires medical expertise which are beyond your scope of practice, but referring them to where they need to go is not going to be accepted. They expect you to help them. Whether it’s due to a fear of doctors, a distrust of doctors, exhausted medical aid funds or simply wanting to bypass the inconvenience of a doctor’s waiting room, this variety of client is difficult to remove and unwilling to accept your honest admission that you are unable to help them.

The Schedule 5 Smartie Eater

It doesn’t matter how clearly you instruct this variety of client regarding appropriate medication taking behaviour, they always seem to chew through their schedule 5 medications as though they’re munching on sweets.

The New Product Seeker

“I want that new thing for <insert condition> that I heard about”… usually as a result of media advertising, this client hears about a new “wonder product” and wants it, but usually can’t remember the name or the company which makes it. And if you haven’t heard about it (because maybe you don’t listen to that radio station, read that newspaper/magazine or watch all too much broadcast television) then you’re met with a blank, uncomprehending stare – how can you not have heard about it?? The last aspect of dealing with such a variety of client is if you don’t have said product because the advertisement stated that it is “available at all leading pharmacies”… Facepalm.

The Googler

Armed with a diagnosis (and recommended treatment) for their condition, this client simply wants you to validate what they have already decided that they are suffering from. If you disagree, you are likely to be questioned at length regarding your differing opinion and may even have your expertise and experience badly snubbed.

The Clueless Chronic Medication Moron

“I’m on medication for my <insert chronic condition here> and I’ve run out, can you help me? It’s a round, white pill.”

Or alternatively:

Client: “I’d like my chronic medication”

You: “Ok, so you’re needing the <statin trade name>, <ACE-inhibitor trade name> and the <diuretic trade name>?”

Client: “Oh, I just know that I take three tablets, I don’t know the names.“

Gosh! It’s not like this stuff is keeping you alive or anything, why bother taking the time to remember exactly what it is you need?

The Chronic Missing Tablet Syndrome Client

Similar to the Schedule 5 Smartie Eater, this variety of client usually comes with some entertainment thrown into the mix… because they usually have some wildly amusing stories as to why they always seem to be short on those specific tablets. It’s quite remarkable that their other chronic medication almost always lasts the stipulated amount of time, but somehow “those” tablets go missing. Whether it’s a case of them forgetting their tablets at the guesthouse that they were staying in while they were in some dorpie for their aunt’s funeral, their spouse destroying their tablets, their dog eating their tablets or thieves breaking into their home and stealing only those tablets, it can be amusing to listen to them trying to find a new yarn to spin for you as if you really are naïve enough to believe it.

The Unswayable Recommendation Seeker

This is one of the worst client types because their characteristic trait is time wasting. They will ask you for your opinion regarding appropriate management of a specific ailment, they will delve into the complicated realms of pharmacokinetics, pharmacodynamics, uncommon drug interactions and pathophysiology. And after exhausting your brain (and patience), this client will then refuse the recommendation that you make and request some other product (that was either recommended by Google or some relative/friend of theirs). Or they’ll decide that they don’t actually want to buy anything anyway…

The Doctor on Speed Dial Client

They have a tamed doctor and they’re not afraid to use him/her… in fact, they expect you to simply phone said doctor whenever they feel even the slightest hint of a cold or infection making its appearance. This client often has absolutely no regard for the legalities of telephonic prescriptions and will actively insult you if you refuse to speak with their doctor. The other common presentation linked to this client type is the client that will call the doctor themselves (often while in the pharmacy) and ask him/her to send the prescription to the fax number that they will ask you to provide for them. I often marvel at the wondrous power of “through the phone” diagnosis.   

The Medical Aid Moaner

This client always has something bad to say about their medical aid. Related to the Medical Aid Daydreamer, they may not have a clue regarding how their medical aid actually functions, but will complain bitterly when their plan does not cover an item which is clearly indicated as exclusion in their plan manual. Rants such as “I pay so much damn money for this medical aid and what benefits do I actually get” are common place. This client is exceptionally prone to volatile outbursts when their annual benefits are exceeded.

The Go Between Client

This client has been sent by someone else to buy medication. In some instances, the person that they are acting on behalf of has actually phoned ahead to inform you of what it is that they’re needing/what symptoms they’re experiencing – a simple enough act which makes interactions with such a client relatively pain free and easy. But at other times, this client has been given a vague description of what to buy (possibly from a Clueless Chronic Medication Moron), a vague description of the presenting symptoms and/or no knowledge regarding the presence of comorbid conditions of the patient. Because medicine can’t be dangerous at all, is it? Let’s just give that haemophiliac some anti-inflammatories, shall we?

The Second Guesser

A relative of The Unswayable Recommendation Seeker, the Second Guesser is usually not satisfied with your assessment and recommendation and will want to confirm what you’ve said with someone else. The second person could be another member of staff in the pharmacy (often someone with less experience and qualification) or someone at the other end of a cell phone call. The Second Guesser may be a bigot who doubts your capabilities based on your gender, race or age.

The WWW Client

Not to be confused with the Googler, WWW is short for “I Want What I Want”. This client is related to the Unswayable Recommendation Seeker and the Googler because they will insist upon getting the drug that they’ve asked for even if it’s not appropriate for the condition they’re trying to treat.

The Prescription Only Drug Required Client

Often accompanied by a good dose of arrogance, this client will insist upon being given drugs like antibiotics or cortisone and will shirk off any suggestion that they should be seeing a doctor in order to get them. The common excuse is “But why should I see a doctor if I know what I need?”. Apparently legalities mean little to nothing to such clients. But you can bet that they would probably be very fast on the phone to a lawyer if they were to end up with a bad reaction to (or infection as a result of) the medicine that they are wanting. In some instances, these clients are related to the Doctor Avoider.

The Irresponsible Parent

This is the type of client that will turn a blind eye to their child drooling on your counter, messing around with your stock or generally creating some variety of chaos in your pharmacy (even wondering into the dispensary and leaving you to be the bad guy that has to chase him/her out). This client may also happily plonk their child down on the counter with no consideration given to whether or not this is appropriate. And it’s very difficult to explain to such a client the reasons that such behaviours are not appropriate.  

The Codeine Seeker

Sometimes easily identifiable by their choice to wear darkly shaded sunglasses in-doors or their blatant request for products such as Broncleer, this type of client may also try to get you to give them their desired fix in a roundabout way. Some carefully phrased and timed questions may allow for you to maintain keeping them away from the codeine (or related substance) product, but this may result in the WWW Client response.

The Package Insert Reader

Another client type that may leave your nerves worn and your patience in tatters, the Package Insert Reader thinks that every possible side effect or drug interaction will happen to them. As a relative of the Googler, the Unswayable Recommendation Seeker

and the Second Guesser, it can be very difficult to have amicable resolutions when interacting with this client. They usually don’t trust you and will hold the opinions and experiences of unqualified internet users over your professional recommendations. The Package Insert Reader is sometimes also a relative of the Hippy Dippy.

The Know-It-And-Share-It-All

This is the variety of client who has garnered some knowledge of medicine (sometimes a relative of the Googler) and thinks that he/she is suitably qualified to dispense advise. The Know-It-And-Share-It-All client may interrupt you when you’re helping another client, regardless of whether or not their input is actually valid. Probably one of the worst situations arises when a Know-It-And-Share-It-All interferes with an interaction with a Second Guesser. 

Did I miss some out? Share your experiences or thoughts in the comments.