Eventful Evangeline

Three stories in one - pregnancy, birth and the first year...

Pregnancy

They say that every pregnancy is different. But then again, "they" say a lot. In this instance, my instance, it rang true. Right out of the gate we knew that El was on the way because of the horrendous implantation pain that left me seeking help at the emergency room. With Evangeline... well. I had suspicions, but after the months of trying to conceive before I fell pregnant with El I had developed a loathing of home pregnancy tests. My cycle had been erratic, sometimes being a perfect 28 days for a few months and then being around 40 days. With the longer cycles I would often end up doing a test only for it to be negative and shortly thereafter have Mother Nature reiterate my status of not being pregnant.

And so I got to the point of obstinately waiting for ol' Aunty Flo to visit for extended durations before purchasing any pee sticks. 

Then after El arrived, I went back onto birth control. Nik and I talked about the possibility of another baby, eventually deciding to play "Vatican roulette" when El was about 10 months old. My cycle seemed to have mostly regulated itself, but we weren't really trying very hard to conceive. After Nik had shoulder surgery in May 2017 and was told that he would need to reexamine his career path and give up photography for a time, he was starting to hedge on the idea of another baby. He told me during July that he thought that the time wasn't right and that we should start using birth control again. A week later I was, well, late. But I knew that it could have just been my out of whack cycle. 

I had a lunchtime Women's Forum gathering at work at the 'one week late' mark. I ended up with some nausea and felt quite awful, eventually vomiting and relieving the symptoms. I wondered if it was the soup I'd eaten or a sign that another little miracle was on the way. As the days passed, some more symptoms became apparent- but lots of early pregnancy symptoms are very similar to PMS ones! I remembered how in TTC days I would Google random symptoms to see if they could be related to pregnancy when I so desperately wanted to fall pregnant and then I would find that they were known for either pregnancy or PMS. So with my boobs being tender, I started leaning towards a bun being baked but I suddenly couldn't conclusively recall if I'd experienced tender mammaries as part of PMS! Then along came increased thirst... After telling Nik that I was late, he agreed to wait another week with me until I did the test.

Tension was mounting. I couldn't tell if Nik was excited, anxious, nervous, worried or shifting between emotions as the days passed. I brought a pregnancy test home on a Saturday with the intention of testing first thing on Sunday morning. I even went out for coffee with a friend who casually asked about the possibility of El one day gaining a sibling and I casually responded that we would "see". I got up the next morning and went to do the ritual. I counted the stream exposure time. I waited. And waited. 

And nothing happened. Nothing. No test line. No control line. We were both on edge. But I had to get to a locum shift. The only way to stop Nik from going off to buy an expensive test was to agree that I would buy another test and take it immediately upon getting to work.

And that's what I did. Nik and El followed me inside, since no clients were around, I grabbed another test and went to the clinic room and opted to dip the stick. I saw a faint test line starting to appear as I put the container down and went to wash my hands. Nik looked at the stick, and a broad grin crossed his face. For someone who had indicated hesitancy at the prospect of becoming a father again, he could not stop smiling. 

And so the journey with my second angel began. 

I was fortunate to once again not struggle too much with morning sickness. The purges would be illicited by smells, post nasal drip and all that damn excess saliva. I ended up sucking on jelly beans to improve the flavour in my mouth and get through that. But I did end up contracting gastroenteritis in my first trimester and had an emergency room visit. Another bout during my third trimester saw me admitted to hospital due to signs potentially heralding early labour - thankfully the bean stayed put.

And as promised by all those "what to expect" FAQs, I did feel movement sooner than in my first pregnancy. The heartburn was terrible, but bearable. For the most part it got bad when I'd eaten foods which tend to aggravate reflux so it was my own doing at times. After the 30 week mark, I definitely "felt" the pregnancy a lot more than I had first time around. I struggled with recurring sinus headaches and low blood pressure-related dizziness. And the round ligament pain! Wowzers. At times it felt like my thigh was twisting in my hip joint, sending sharp pains up my spine. It's said in Afrikaans: "Ek kry swaar" and that was the bests description I could use for the way I was feeling. 

It felt like insult to injury when I noticed a pregnancy problem I had previously completely avoided. A glance in the mirror at my belly showed me angry purple tears on my lower abdomen, otherwise hidden from my line of vision. As if concerns about post baby body weren't already consumed by weighty matters, I could add stretch marks to the list. Initially I felt down about it, frustrated that my body had succumbed to the common complaint where it previously had soldiered on and adapted to the burgeoning pressure. Then, with some reflection, I smiled to myself and considered that I had earned my "tiger stripes" and shouldn't despair at this new mark of distinction. 

 

My family and friends tried to surprise me with a baby shower. Unfortunately, there had been a few "tells" which gave me an idea of what was going on. But it was really special to have my best friend present for the event, something not generally possible given that she lives in France and her trip home coincided with the later part of my pregnancy. It ended up being a good thing since apparently the original planned shower date fell in March, just over a week before Evangeline's due date. My belly had dropped the week before and a day after my shower my mucous plug came out. Nik was stressing because Evangeline's room wasn't ready yet, but I reminded him that labour could still be delayed by 2 weeks... and I was set to work until 28 February 2018.

My 36 week check up showed a sight, but unconcerning drop in amniotic fluid and included a pelvic exam, with my doctor indicating that she was happy for me to proceed with VBAC (vaginal birth after Caesarian). She encouraged me to get a doula and was willing to let me carry until 41 weeks as long as there weren't further drops in amniotic fluid levels before scheduling a repeat Caesarian section. Despite the signs of labour being close on the horizon, she doubted that Evangeline would make her appearance in less than a week's time from the appointment (she was going away for the week). I started making arrangements, packed a few items in my hospital bag and put a linen saver on the bed.

I'd had a rather awful cough for about 2 weeks. I'd been joking at work that I'd be coughing my baby out. After a particularly bad coughing fit, I felt a trickle downstairs. But with Evey's head having been in "perfect birthing position" for at least the previous 10 weeks, I'd experienced a lot of pressure on my bladder so a *little* leak every so often had become normal and I'd started to use panty liners. But that trickle made me curious about how it feels when the waters break so I looked up what to expect and went to bed with an understanding of what different experiences women had had with their waters breaking and put my trickle down to pregnancy incontinence. 

Birth

At midnight I woke up to go to the toilet and as I shifted in bed, I felt a rush of fluid soak my panties. I thought “This is either ‘it’ or I have really lost bladder control” as I tried to stem the flow with kegals. Just then Nik, who hadn't been able to sleep, entered the room and asked what was going on. I stood up and fluid continued to fall - my waters had broken at 37 weeks and one day. I waddled off to the toilet, leaving a trail behind me and noted that the flow had been strong enough to loosen and remove the panty liner I'd been wearing - it fell to the floor when I dropped my underwear. Nik asked what we should do and advised him to call the labour ward at the hospital (since I hadn't gone into labor before and was still in the process of finalising things with a doula and hadn't completed the contract or paid the retainer to secure services I didn't feel it was right to call her). 

The labour ward staff advised the signs of progressing labour to look for and experience before coming in, but advised that I should go in after 12 hours regardless. I had planned on going back to bed, but first wanted to do kick counts to make sure Evangeline was OK. It took a while to get to 10 (longer than I had generally found it to take) and in that time the contractions started in my lower back. I wasn't overly concerned, but it didn't take long before I had three short contractions within 10 minutes. We called the hospital again and were advised that I should finish packing for hospital, take a shower, wait for about 30 minutes and go. Nik called my mom to ask her to come look after our toddler. 

When we arrived at the hospital the sister on duty in the labour ward asked about the situation and provided me with a new pad before putting on the CTG. After it had run for a sufficient time with me experiencing one relatively strong contraction amongst mild ones, she said that the contractions were very irregular and she wanted to confirm that my membranes had actually ruptured. I was annoyed with myself because I had meant to bring the soiled panty liner - it was in a plastic bag on my dressing table! When the freshly provided pad wasn't remarkably soiled, the sister became more skeptic, but I was pretty certain that I was correct in my assessment that my waters had broken. The amnio test confirmed my conclusion, but despite being somewhat irritated at the doubt displayed by the nurse, realistically she had probably seen her fair share of pregnant women wetting themselves and assuming that their waters had broken. 

As we went through medical history, the nurse realised that I had a previous C-section and advised me of the doctor on duty, stating that he “Doesn't do VBACs. He's never done one and I don't think he ever will. I can ask him, but I don't think he'll do it”. My husband had advised that I'd had a previous C-section when he called, but it seemed that cognizance of this information did not occur. I was advised that the surgery was scheduled for 5am. 

As we went down to the operating floor, the nurse commented that I looked disappointed, she tried to reassure me that a repeat C-section could have been the end result anyway, which I knew, but I appreciated that she took note of my feelings. As we entered the surgical floor, my body involuntarily shook with nervous tension. I knew everything would be fine, I knew what to expect, but I was obviously still scared on a primal level. 

 

Evangeline entered the world at 5:15, to "You're a tourist" by Deathcab for Cutie. Evangeline Rebecca Hope - Evangeline from Greek, meaning "Bringer of good news"; Rebecca from Hebrew, meaning "to bind" and Hope from Middle English (I somehow doubt an explanation is needed here!). 

As I was being stitched up, the doctor asked if I had previously had endometriosis, to which I responded that I had not. He said that there was a fair amount scarring on my uterus and that after he had delivered Evangeline’s head, a tear had formed below the incision because the tissue was very fibrous. From that he felt that doing a repeat C-section had been the better option.

I was disappointed. Eliana had been breech and I had had to have a Caesar. Having Evangeline in perfect birthing position AND going into labour made it seem like a VBAC was supposed to happen. But what was of paramount importance was taking a healthy baby home.  

Given our lack of sleep, I told Nik to head home, take El to school and get some rest. I was given the post surgery pain killers and went off into a peaceful sleep with Evey resting on my chest. She met her big, somewhat apprehensive sister that afternoon. By her second visit, El was a little more receptive to her sister - standing up on a chair, clapping her hands and saying "Come! Come!" We were fortunate to be given a private room the next day and the ward was quiet since it was a weekend and generally births weren't planned over those days. It made things a lot easier with an uncertain and busy toddler! 

The First Year

Evey was our impatient bundle. Her early arrival wreaked some havoc with my maternity leave (and work handover), but it also meant that she got to meet one of her godparents sooner rather than later since Lauren was still in South Africa. 

Her impatience would become apparent at other times too - like when she was hungry!! Despite my hope that my second pregnancy would help to resolve my breastfeeding troubles, I was once again unable to produce enough breastmilk, so breast and bottle were on order... and woe betide the person who kept Evey waiting for food! She went red with frustration and screamed of her indignation, earning her the nick name "She-Hulk". She would also be called the "Queen of Farts" - the poor girl would get crampy and gassy - which led to many nights of bare chested cuddles against mom to soothe her tummy. 

I tried to do work on my studies while I was on maternity leave, so Evey would be wrapped up in a sling and sleeping on my chest as I worked. She didn't like sudden loud noises so there was a lot of soothing to be had with a mischievous toddler around. But El would prove to be an exceptionally caring and loving big sister - giving hugs, trying to instruct her sister to say "please" when she offered her ice cream, helping her hold her bottle and eventually becoming a playmate. 

Evangeline was not too keen to start solid food. Despite showing signs of readiness just after 4 months, her introduction to solid food was not well met. She needed to wait it out for longer and when she started at around 6 months she was keen! Between 9 and 10 months she was happy to eat the food made for the rest of the family.

She took a little longer to get in on the idea of crawling, a hindrance to this seeming to be that she was determined to crawl with her feet instead of her knees. So she mostly skipped out on traditional leopard crawling and looked as if she might go straight to "bum wiggling". As a bum wiggler to walker myself, I was not keen on this potential situation so I did my best to encourage crawling in the hopes that Evey would not know my struggles with hand-eye coordination and upper body strength. At just over 8 months old she delighted the family by crawling while we were on a weekend getaway to celebrate her granny's 70th birthday with her uncle and family. Her crawling style looked like the action of an inch worm as she would try to move on all 4s before realizing that she needed to knuckle down and move a knee instead of a foot, with her eventually adopting her cousin Ethan and, we would later discover, her granny's crawling style of "one knee, one foot" - commonly referred to as "accelerator foot" crawl in the family. 

She moved on from crawling at about 11 and a half months. She took a while to stabilize on 2 legs, not embracing the wheeled push walking aids as readily as her sister. But a trip to wish her cousin Noah well on his birthday saw her finding his walker and she was off! All she wanted to do was walk back and forth across her aunt's lounge, getting incredibly frustrated when she found herself stuck in corners because she hadn't figured out how to "reverse". The next day, she decided to take her first unassisted step. She made two tentative single steps in the space of an afternoon. Then was a bit snoep to display her new trick. But within a week she was traversing greater and greater distances as her confidence to move both feet grew.

Unfortunately Evey didn't enjoy a first year free from health concerns. Unlike her sister who had a cold and then only developed tonsillitis just following her first birthday, Evey had Adenovirus which left her rather ill, a bladder infection which resulted in a fever which induced a febrile seizure that saw her being admitted to hospital, and Roseola to contend with. But, that being said, it could be far, far worse so I can be grateful that both of my girls have generally been quite healthy. 

I found that with a very strong willed and imposing toddler, it was challenging for Evangeline's personality to shine through as strongly as El's had at the same age. El had no "competition" and was the center of our worlds, whereas Evey had a lot of personality to overcome. Aside from being impatient and determined, she has shown her love of fun and play as she delights in her older sister's antics, laughing hysterically when El plays to her whims.

She was a massive Bubble Guppies fan. She would bounce on her bum with excitement when we would put it on for her. Sadly the Bubble Guppies are no longer in favour... She likes to dance. When watching her newly beloved Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (oh dearie me, how I have come to loathe some of the characters' inflections and trademark phrases!), her whole face lights up and she gyrates and claps as the characters do the Hotdog Dance at the close of each episode. She squeals with excitement when she sees Mickey Mouse wander up the path and introduce himself. 

She is a happy, adventurous and stubborn child. She is so alike her sister at times that holding photographs of the two of them up at similar ages creates confusion for some to tell them apart. For me El's big brown eyes always give it away, Evey's eyes are smaller... but I have no idea what colour they are!! It seemed as though I would have my "blue eyed baby" with her, but her eyes have developed brown specks and sometimes appear green/hazel, other times blue, other times grey. I have even seen how her outer iris appears blue/grey and the mid-iris green with brown flecks. 

And now this mischievous and determined baby is entering toddlerhood as she turns one year old today. It's gone quickly. Too quickly. As she still waddles slowly over short distances, I know that all too soon she'll be sprinting after her sister and her cousin Noah when they often play, and also when she sees her cousin Ethan. Eliana was the answer to our prayers and Evangeline was the good, unexpected news - two beautiful blessings from God. 

Happy birthday to my impatient little monkey! We love you so much!