Goodbye Bianca Anne Harper Agherdien - Beautiful and humble angel
The sleepy town of Port Elizabeth, South Africa, is in mourning today. One of our former Miss PE winners passed on after battling injuries suffered during a head-on collision on Tuesday, 11 November 2014. Bianca wasn't just another beauty queen spewing clichés about world peace and ending poverty, she was a remarkable young woman. To use a cliché of my own, she had beauty and brains. But despite her obvious talents and intelligence, she was also humble, kind and motivated.
Bianca and I both studied at the Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University, I graduated in 2009 and she in 2010. As a student, I only knew some of the students in other years of the programme and didn't really develop a friendship with Bianca until later on. But she did make an impression on me when she was in her B. Pharm. final year. I was studying towards my M. Pharm. and was working part time for the pharmacy department, with my involvement being in their fourth year hospital programme. I acted as a coordinator for this programme, guiding each of the fourth year groups through their rotation at Elizabeth Donkin (Psychiatric) Hospital. At the time that Bianca's group was on rotation with me, I hadn't had a lot of experience at the hospital and was still rather intimidated by interactions with the patients, particularly those in the male ward (I'd been advised that some of them were quite unstable!). I was standing in a corridor with Bianca's group, waiting for a hospital staff member to inquire after something or other, when a male patient called out to us from behind the ward gate. I can't recall exactly what was said, but he ended up asking Bianca to pass him something, I think it was a tissue? She did so and passed it to him. Thereafter he thanked her and asked her for her name, which she willingly gave, he told her that she had a lovely name.
I remember wondering if I would have been so willing to give my name to that person if he had spoken to me. Would I have had the self confidence and lack of apprehension to interact with that person? I doubted it. The fact that she, as a fresh faced young lady in a testosterone charged area of the hospital was happy to interact with that patient stayed with me. When I heard that she was a finalist in Miss PE 2010, I was so proud and fervently hoped that she was win. I was ecstatic when she did and hoped that all of her commitments as Port Elizabeth's ambassador wouldn't be detrimental to her Master's studies. But she managed to complete her degree in the shorter time allowed for the course and still continued to be actively involved in the community. I slowly got to know and develop a friendship with her during brief interactions on campus as I completed my degree in 2010 and when we both presented our research at the 2011 Prestigious Student Research Conference.
Despite not being close, Bianca had a way of making a person feel special. She greeted you with a big smile, was sincere when she asked after your wellbeing and always seemed to be so enthusiastic about any activity she was involved in. I recall her great encouragement when I told her that I'd decided to go back to university to do my PhD on a part time basis. Bianca expressed her excitement for me and how she also felt that she needed to do more, she felt restless and wanted to find a niche – to research something and generate results that could be applied to help people. She was greatly interested in becoming involved in fighting against drug abuse and addiction, a field encompassed in my own doctoral investigation. When she was accepted to study her Doctor of Pharmacy course at Rhodes, the excitement in her Facebook posts was tangible.
When I heard that she'd been involved in a car accident, my first thought was that she would be "fine". I spoke with Claire about it briefly, asserting that I was confident that she would recover. Upon hearing the extent of her injuries, I maintained my belief that B* would pull through and was relieved to hear that her condition was stable the following morning. Seeing the unity that her accident brought to the city was phenomenal, the SANBS had queues of people waiting to donate blood, innumerable people were praying for her recovery. Bianca had the support of thousands behind her. Then I heard news of her needing another surgical procedure to try isolate further internal bleeding, but I still had faith that she would survive the injuries she had suffered. The news that followed this morning was bleak, her circulation was compromised and there was little else that could be done to help her. I prayed. So many people prayed. But unfortunately sometimes God needs rose buds and not just bloomed roses in his garden and this vibrant and wonderful soul was taken from us. Hearing of her passing was surreal. My first instinct was to ask Anusooya from whom she'd heard the news, just in case it was a rumour, I couldn't accept that she'd died. Even typing those letters in this moment leaves me full of raw emotion. It's accepting that this really happened. It's heart breaking. When I think of how her husband and her family must be feeling now, I can only cry because I know that anything I am feeling must be insignificant.
But one cannot avoid reality and, as harsh as it is, and despite it also being somewhat of a cliché, I know that Bianca wouldn't want there to be so much heartache. Her death was tragic, senseless and has left so many people feeling deeply saddened. I hope that despite this tragedy, people will embrace Bianca's spirit and try to emulate her compassion, her kindness and her enthusiasm. I hope that people will remember her as the wonderful person that she was and try to keep her memory alive. Let this be a reminder that life is fragile, it can be taken away in an instant. What you leave behind depends on how you lived and I hope that Bianca is looking down on us and smiling because she can see that she was able to do so much with hers, even as she fought to keep it.
Rest in peace, B*. You will be missed. May your beautiful soul be happy with our Father above.
Bianca and I both studied at the Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University, I graduated in 2009 and she in 2010. As a student, I only knew some of the students in other years of the programme and didn't really develop a friendship with Bianca until later on. But she did make an impression on me when she was in her B. Pharm. final year. I was studying towards my M. Pharm. and was working part time for the pharmacy department, with my involvement being in their fourth year hospital programme. I acted as a coordinator for this programme, guiding each of the fourth year groups through their rotation at Elizabeth Donkin (Psychiatric) Hospital. At the time that Bianca's group was on rotation with me, I hadn't had a lot of experience at the hospital and was still rather intimidated by interactions with the patients, particularly those in the male ward (I'd been advised that some of them were quite unstable!). I was standing in a corridor with Bianca's group, waiting for a hospital staff member to inquire after something or other, when a male patient called out to us from behind the ward gate. I can't recall exactly what was said, but he ended up asking Bianca to pass him something, I think it was a tissue? She did so and passed it to him. Thereafter he thanked her and asked her for her name, which she willingly gave, he told her that she had a lovely name.
I remember wondering if I would have been so willing to give my name to that person if he had spoken to me. Would I have had the self confidence and lack of apprehension to interact with that person? I doubted it. The fact that she, as a fresh faced young lady in a testosterone charged area of the hospital was happy to interact with that patient stayed with me. When I heard that she was a finalist in Miss PE 2010, I was so proud and fervently hoped that she was win. I was ecstatic when she did and hoped that all of her commitments as Port Elizabeth's ambassador wouldn't be detrimental to her Master's studies. But she managed to complete her degree in the shorter time allowed for the course and still continued to be actively involved in the community. I slowly got to know and develop a friendship with her during brief interactions on campus as I completed my degree in 2010 and when we both presented our research at the 2011 Prestigious Student Research Conference.
Despite not being close, Bianca had a way of making a person feel special. She greeted you with a big smile, was sincere when she asked after your wellbeing and always seemed to be so enthusiastic about any activity she was involved in. I recall her great encouragement when I told her that I'd decided to go back to university to do my PhD on a part time basis. Bianca expressed her excitement for me and how she also felt that she needed to do more, she felt restless and wanted to find a niche – to research something and generate results that could be applied to help people. She was greatly interested in becoming involved in fighting against drug abuse and addiction, a field encompassed in my own doctoral investigation. When she was accepted to study her Doctor of Pharmacy course at Rhodes, the excitement in her Facebook posts was tangible.
When I heard that she'd been involved in a car accident, my first thought was that she would be "fine". I spoke with Claire about it briefly, asserting that I was confident that she would recover. Upon hearing the extent of her injuries, I maintained my belief that B* would pull through and was relieved to hear that her condition was stable the following morning. Seeing the unity that her accident brought to the city was phenomenal, the SANBS had queues of people waiting to donate blood, innumerable people were praying for her recovery. Bianca had the support of thousands behind her. Then I heard news of her needing another surgical procedure to try isolate further internal bleeding, but I still had faith that she would survive the injuries she had suffered. The news that followed this morning was bleak, her circulation was compromised and there was little else that could be done to help her. I prayed. So many people prayed. But unfortunately sometimes God needs rose buds and not just bloomed roses in his garden and this vibrant and wonderful soul was taken from us. Hearing of her passing was surreal. My first instinct was to ask Anusooya from whom she'd heard the news, just in case it was a rumour, I couldn't accept that she'd died. Even typing those letters in this moment leaves me full of raw emotion. It's accepting that this really happened. It's heart breaking. When I think of how her husband and her family must be feeling now, I can only cry because I know that anything I am feeling must be insignificant.
But one cannot avoid reality and, as harsh as it is, and despite it also being somewhat of a cliché, I know that Bianca wouldn't want there to be so much heartache. Her death was tragic, senseless and has left so many people feeling deeply saddened. I hope that despite this tragedy, people will embrace Bianca's spirit and try to emulate her compassion, her kindness and her enthusiasm. I hope that people will remember her as the wonderful person that she was and try to keep her memory alive. Let this be a reminder that life is fragile, it can be taken away in an instant. What you leave behind depends on how you lived and I hope that Bianca is looking down on us and smiling because she can see that she was able to do so much with hers, even as she fought to keep it.
Rest in peace, B*. You will be missed. May your beautiful soul be happy with our Father above.
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